A New Begining
by o0oDark Lullabyo0o
Summary: Two Hearts. One Story. Does love really stand the tests of time? Erik/OC
1. The End

**Disclaimer: **_None of the characters from POTO belong to me. All other characters are of my creation and DO belong to me. _

**Chapter one:**

_The End_

Dear reader, where shall I began my story? I think I should begin at the most uncommon place for a story to begin: I shall begin at the end. It was in fact the end of _my_ story. But the beginning of another story is about to begin. The beginning of _our_ story…..

I rolled over in bed pulling a silk pillow over my head, grumbling unintelligible remarks as the maid pulled open the blinds. The whole room was brightened as the morning sun cast it's glorious rays on the fineries of the room. And the four poster bed's lone occupant buried herself even deeper in silken sheet.

I am _not_ a morning person.

"_Why _must you wake me so early?" my whiny voice was muffled by the mounds of pillows and blankets it was buried under.

"Your fathers orders miss."

There was a slight hesitation before her next words

"If I may say so miss, it's not so very early any more." Two sleep-swollen brown eyes peaked out from behind the pillow

"What time is it Jane?"

Once again the snapped question was muffled. The maid had to bite back a smile

"Two minutes to nine. Shall I help you with your corset?"

Another grumble.

"...stupid...lame...contraption..."

The maid was only able to pick out a few words. "Now Lessa, tis' not polite for a young lady to curse so. You'll never fetch a husband like that." Jane had been my nurse maid when every since I was six months old and so we were always very informal when it was just the two of us. Around my father she wouldn't dare to be so familiar with me, nor I with her, but Jane knew that I rather enjoyed our playful bantering and scolding.

"You make it sound as I were going to market to fetch a sack of potatoes. I shall never 'fetch' a husband, nor shall one 'fetch' me."

Jane only clucked her tongue and shook a doleful head.

"Now dearie, I shall _fetch _your clothes for today"

Giving a sleepy giggle I dragged myself away from the warmth and comfort of the soft bed as Jane went to lay out my clothes. I looked back at the tangled mass of sheets, blankets, and pillows and gave a half smile at the cocoon I had created before glancing in the full-length mirror with more than a little dismay. My bronze, curly, waist length hair was, as usual, all over the place. I considered it to be my one beauty, for it was very enchanting and I had never seen anyone with hair quite like mine. It hung in thick ringlets that appeared to have been curled with the hot iron, when in reality I had never curled or straightened my hair.

Jane would often catch me admiring it and say:

"You should go bald one day for all your vanity of it. They say the truest characters of ignorance are vanity, pride and arrogance."

I would retort:"Well then I am almost wholly ignoramus, for I have a hearty dose of all three. I daresay my vanity for my hair makes up for the rest of me being so plain." I watched the mirror observing myself with a wrinkled nose. I am too tall, too skinny, and too pale. Of course it wouldn't be bad being pale if I had creamy white skin, but the small smattering of freckles across my nose denied me that much.

Jane said I had a rather forceful chin, I was still unsure if that was good or not. My eyebrows were a little darker than my hair and too thick for my liking but if I plucked them they didn't look right, so I left them thick. If my hair is my beauty my eyes are most certainly the bain of my existence. Instead if being light blue like I so longed for, almost black was what I got, at least I had the consolation of thick and long eyelashes to accompany them. I decided not to even contemplate my nose, which in my opinion is far to big for my face.

"It's vain to study yourself in the mirror so."

Jane returned with my clothes, and I was happy to be interrupted from my not-so-nice contemplation.

"Remember your place Jane."

The words were said with a yawn and not much conviction.

As the Jane tightened my corset, she relayed a message that I really wasn't that anxious to hear. "The Master says that you are to meet him in the stables as soon as possible." I frowned and gripped the bedpost tighter. Why would Father want me there? That was the last place I really wanted to be. Three weeks ago, I would have went eagerly, grasping at any chance to be at the barn, but now... my mind flashed back to that horrible night, two weeks and three days ago.

_Something had woke me. It was a smell, half asleep and unsure what it was I didn't even open my eyes. A moment later it registered. Smoke. I bolted upright but I couldn't smell it anymore so I ignored it and tried to drift back into sleep but mere moments later shouts in the hall woke me fully. I was out of bed in an instant, fastening on my robe and running to the door. I paused briefly to feel the door for warmth, Jane was just coming to my door as I flung it open. I could smell smoke more vividly now and was confused, the house appeared to be fine. "Lessa!" Jane wailed "The barn-" The rest of her words were spoken to nothing but air as I flew down the hall, the steps, and towards the front door. The distance from the house to the stables had never seemed so far to me before. _

_There was nothing but stark fear as I neared the barn which was already almost completely engulfed in flames. The household servants had already formed a chain, throwing bucketfuls of water into the fire. But a sensible person could have seen that it was no use. I was not sensible. I threw a quick glance around at the gathered servants. Where were the stable hands? Oh, wasn't this a perfect time for father to be away? _

_Suddenly a horse screamed in pain or terror. _

_The horses! _

_I lunged toward the barn but only made it a few feet before I was snatched back into strong arms. I struggled, twisted, and screamed but to no avail. Two of the gardeners had me in their grip and weren't about to let me go rushing into the flames. _

_Tears ran in floods down my face, the horses screams tore my heart out, and the smoke burned my eyes, but I couldn't bear to turn away. _

The tight jerk Jane made in tying the corset laces snapped me back to reality. The fire hadn't been an accident, someone had payed off the two stable hands to do it. I had an idea who that 'someone' was. One of their tenants who constantly drank had recently been evicted. It hadn't taken much persuading to get my father to make him leave, the man was a drunk, rarely payed his rent, and caused them more than a few troubles. He had payed the two stable hands off to soak the walls in oil and set it on fire. Thinking back on what ifs, I consider myself a very weak person. I'm not sure if I would have persuaded my father to evict that man if I had known he would hurt my horses.

Those horses had meant the world to me. All my extra time was spent there, and the four-legged creatures were my dearest friends. I hadn't been to the barn since the fire. It had been rebuilt and refurbished, but I just couldn't bring myself to go and see the empty stalls.

But what my father said was law. "Very well" I sighed. I finished dressing very slowly and sent the Jane away. I had always liked doing my own hair, it was relaxing and gave me time alone to think. My thick hair reached down to the small of my back and somehow the length didn't pull out the numerous curls. How I wished it were straight!

Skipping breakfast, as I always have, I quietly slipped out the door and, with more than a little trepidation, walked to the barn. I shivered when my skin hit the cold air, winter had come earlier than normal this year. It looked like it would turn out to be a long hard winter.

The new structure was indeed impressive and a little twinge of curiosity caught on. Once inside I could barely see in the dim interior, I inhaled the scent of fresh bedding and newly cut wood with a sort of bitter-sweet pleasure. I dearly missed my four-legged friends. When my eyes adjusted I immediately stopped dead in my tracks. Four horse-heads peeked from around four of the five stall doors. Father was standing just around the corner and turned to me, smiling. "They are for you" I continued to stand there looking like a fish with my mouth closing then opening. I realized that we would, of course, purchase more horses. It was the fact that we already had, and I had been unaware of it. And the fact that Father had said that they where for me.

"I can see I surprised you. I hope it's a pleasant surprise?" he added when I hadn't been able to reply.

I wasn't sure whether to cry or to laugh. My father rarely bought anything specially for _me_. I eventually managed to nod and say yes, it was a very pleasant surprise.

But just like there is a silver lining in every cloud, there is a worm in every apple.

"Of course we will be having house guests very frequently soon. I would think that they would enjoy the horses also." I hid a frown. There it was. It had always been this way. Nothing was ever bought or done by my father for me 'just because'. He was very much the business man and everything was done for an ulterior motive. I pushed those thoughts back of my mind and went to examine the horses. "Nothing but the finest stock of course. I payed a pretty penny for them but fine stock is worth every bit" Father was saying. "I don't know the names of the horses, but the stable hands do and you can find out from them."

The first stall contained a plump red roan mare that looked very friendly and I smiled. This was the obvious ladies or novice riders' mount, she had a sweet countenance and I would look forward to spending time with her. In the next two stalls were two almost identical bay geldings.

"Those are our driving pair and the best in the lot. I think they will be quite striking when harnessed to a Phaeton" My father commented. The fourth horse was an unusually colored perlino mare, she was obviously spirited and would be an enjoyable mount. I wasn't so fickle as to have already forgotten about the well loved companions I had lost in the fire, indeed I should never forget them. But I was already itching to ride the new editions to the stable.

The fifth stall held the most curiosity for me, as its occupant hadn't greeted it's new Mistress. Thinking back, I shall never knew what drew me to this horse. For she wasn't simply lacking in good manners, she did _have _any. When I reached the stall door I was greeted by a large black rump. "I wouldn't have taken this mare had she not been a good bargain and so nicely built. She has quite the sour attitude. I daresay she might make an excellent broodmare" I was barely listening. After a few moments of coaxing her, she turned and graced her observers with a glare.

I grimaced, if looks could kill...

The mare was solid black and strikingly beautiful, but what made her stand out and give her an almost satanic appearance was the one 'watch eye' on the right side of her face. When the mare layed her ears flat and stomped a foot Father stated "She will probably be to much of a handful for anyone."

I hid a smile. This little demon would certainly be the first one I rode.

"I wanted to introduce you to the new stable hands but I'm afraid I have meetings in town." He was looking at his pocket watch. "There are four letters on my desk that need to be answered before you spend time fooling around down here. Mrs. Sumther will be having lessons in about two hours."

I made a face behind father's back as I followed him out of the barn. I hated writing formal letters.

And I hated taking French lessons with Mrs. Sumther. I suppose it was better than the alternative, however. I had detested the thought of coming out, to be paraded at ball after ball and sold to the highest bidder, so father had made a pact with me. If I became an accomplished young lady in all the fine and genteel arts then he wouldn't force me to attend débutante balls. This meant practicing my piano more, learning how to draw -which both my tutor and father both gave up on, learning ball room dances -my training was complete in this art at least, and learning French.

I was excited about the French lessons, which I was to take with a neighbor's daughter. I had always been enchanted by words, sounds and phrases. But, at the time I had little to do with Loreena Sumther.

Loreena was the epitome of beauty. She needed to only bat her long blond eyelashes and men would fall at her feet. She was outgoing and could hold a conversation with anyone. And she made my French lessons miserable.

Loreena made it near impossible to pay attention to the lessons with her bantering and poking fun at me. So I was horrible at any sort of quiz her Aunt presented us with. I asked God for patience and He gave me ample opportunity to practice it, but I'm afraid I rarely did.

My father refused to relent until I spoke the language what he called "somewhat fluently."

So I was doomed to take my lessons with Loreena forever, it appeared.

I sighed. Oh well, one must endure the trials they are put through in life the best one can. Even if it did mean lessons with Loreena Sumther.

Review, review, review. The more reviews I get the faster I'll post more the the story.


	2. Guardian Angel

**Chapter Two:**

_**Guardian Angel**_

It was well after lunch before I was able to return to the barn with plans to exercise one of the horses. I frowned when I saw moldy hay in Demon's -that is what I had begun to call the black mare- bin. Moldy hay could lead to colic so I went in search of a stable hand to inquire about the hay. After a through search, not a soul could be found inside the barn so I decided to look out behind the stables where some of the equipment was kept.

As soon as my skin hit the cold outside air I begun to wish I had thought to bring a heavier coat. I had been so intent on actually getting to the stables that all thoughts of warmer clothing had left my mind.

There was no snow but it had rained yesterday and made the ground slippery and dangerous. My eyes roamed the property and I felt a certain possessiveness come over me. I was proud of this land, proud that it had been in my family for hundreds of years. It was even beautiful in the bleak winter when the trees were bare and the grass was brown. When the snow covered it, it was striking in it's majesty. And in the spring it was sweet with the heady sent of new growth and life.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that my feet hit a patch of ice and before I knew what had happened my feet slipped out from under me, but just as quickly, before I could reach the ground two strong arms had caught me up and brought me back to my feet. I bit my lip to keep from uttering a not so ladylike phrase and looked up to thank my guardian angel. I barely even noticed the mask at first, all I could see was his eyes and all I could feel was the tingling sensation his fingertips caused on my forearms. He let me go quickly, as if burned and I inwardly laughed at myself for imagining such fancies.

"Thank you" I murmured "I'm afraid I'm horribly clumsy

Of course I couldn't hide the look of surprise that crossed my features when I came face-to-face with a man that had half his face covered by a white mask. The first thing that struck me was that he was tall. When you are my height that's the first thing you notice about someone. Most people fall into the shorter-than-I-am category, so having to tilt my head back to see his face was a little disconcerting. Not to mention he probably thought that I had been staring at his mask, which now of course, I was. But somehow in the midst of my embarrassment my insane mind noted that he was very handsome and had the strangest eyes... I chided herself for acting like a silly schoolgirl and then remembered my manners. When I said thank you and received nothing but a shrug I became even more flustered. Oh, why was he just standing there watching me! Who was this man, and what was he doing here?

"I'm Lessa Delaine" I offered "and you are...?"

It seemed like he wouldn't answer so I nearly jumped when he did.

"One of the stable hands. Erik."

I felt my blush abating, but not my embarrassment. I felt an illogical tinge of wariness now that I knew he was a stable hand. But maybe not so illogical since I had trusted the last stable hands, even considered them my friends. And they repaid me with burning my barn. This man was a servant? He seemed too…. Elegant, for lack of a better word. I found myself lost in his eyes, they were a very strange color... To start with I had considered them to be green, but now they seemed almost golden. They seemed to have a catlike wariness about them.

He returned my gaze unblinkingly. Erik would have been just as surprised to know that I was trying to decide what color is eyes were as I would have been to know that he thought I was disturbed about his mask. When Erik cleared his throat I realized I had been staring again and I could feel my blush returning.

"Good. I was just coming to find you"

What on earth had possessed me? I was surprised that I didn't stutter in my nervous embarrassment. Erik raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"The hay is moldy and obviously not fit for the horses to eat."

It came out snappier than intended but I was already irritated about the hay, along with the awkward situation, and the fact that this strange man seemed to look right through me combined with my wet dress and freezing temperatures wasn't helping my mood. Once more I received no reply, he only stared at me unnervingly. Why did he seem so…. Sad?

I was about to say something about him being irresponsible when I sneezed.

"You shouldn't have come out here without warmer clothes" He stated dryly.

"_You_ should remember your place." I only grew more irritated when a voice in the back of my mind whispered _He's right and you most defiantly know it. You where only just telling yourself that very same thing_

Arguing with myself did nothing to help.

"I shall expect the hay the horses are fed tomorrow to be in a much better condition." I knew I sounded like a spoiled princess but I had no intention of making amends. I was far to rattled for apologies. On that I brushed past him and made my way back to the barn- and warmth.

--

I stood running a curry comb methodically over the red roan's back. My father had hated the idea of me grooming a horse. It was the abhorred thought that his own daughter would stoop to a lowly position of a stable hand. I smiled slightly. He eventually gave up trying to dissuade me from working in the barn.

My thoughts wandered over the events of the morning. After flouncing away from Erik (Although I argued with myself that I, Lessa Delaine, would _never_ _flounce_) I had encountered the other stable hand. I was relieved to find his face familiar. It was 15 year old Robert Broen who was the son of one of father's tenants. I had met him before on a few occasions and found him very agreeable, and I knew he was trustworthy. He had admitted shamefacedly that he had given the horses their hay and had not given any heed to the condition of it. He was quite embarrassed and apologized fervently, I was sure that he meant it, and not being normally being snappish like I had been with Erik, I forgave him. As preoccupied as I was with thoughts of the strange masked man, I had forgotten to ask the boy what the names of the horses were however.

My mind wandered back farther to when I had encountered Erik, those thoughts making me frown. He was very strange indeed and had managed to ruffle me with saying only two brief sentences. He hadn't been arrogant or prideful... come to think of it he hadn't really been any sort of thing. He did seem to have a sort of perpetual sadness about him. Thinking back I found myself wanting to comfort him. _What is wrong with you! _I quickly brought my thoughts to an abrupt halt. I had only just met the man. I knew I had read to many novels.

I shivered slightly, the barn was warmer than outside, but still cold. Once more I reprimanded myself for not bringing something warmer. Both the horse and I jumped when someone spoke.

"I told you, you needed something warmer."

I whirled around, my hand automatically going to my heart "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that" I said breathlessly

"I did not intend to surprise you"

I was tempted to retort in a not-so-nice manner but bit my tongue. Erik looked at me rather strangely "If her coat is not satisfactory Robert of myself will take care of it." He gestured towards Rosie.

"I enjoy doing it. It's very calming and exciting all at the same time" I felt guilty for being so stuck-up earlier so I made a blundering attempt to be nice. I dropped the brush in the grooming box and slid out of the stall door, closing it carefully behind me.

"My father had not yet learned the horses names when he introduced them to me earlier. He said you would know them..." I trailed off. Erik gave a slight nod and gestured to the stall I just came out of.

"That's Rosie"

I smiled "_Very_ original" I expected him to smile with me, but of course, he didn't

"Nimrod and Jack" He said as they passed the two bays stalls. I knew I was going to have a hard time remembering which was which. I would have to examine them closer later to see if I could find some sort of discriminating mark.

"This is... Diva" He hesitated slightly over the perlino's name but I thought nothing of it. I stopped to rub the mare's nose affectionately then walked over to the front of my little Demon's stall. Demon glared at us and then snorted somewhat pompously, I laughed at the thought.

"This little demon's name is Ange" He said quietly. My knowledge of the French language was limited but I did know that 'ange' was French for angel. "How strange." I muttered "Perhaps there is a angel under that mask somewhere…" I reached through the bars to rub Ange between her eyes. I didn't notice Erik look at me rather sharply, with severe pain in his eyes, but when I turned around he was no where to be seen. He had disappeared, just like a ghost.

"How strange…"

**____________________________________________**

**____________________________________________**

**Due to the amazingly wonderful, but highly unexpected response to my first chapter I came out the the second a little quicker than I intended(*YAY*). I personally do not enjoy this chapter because it seems a little shallow to me. But since I already have several chapters wrote I can assure you that the characters will expand.**

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


	3. Apologies

**Chapter Three:**

__

**Apologies **

Due to the fact that I was to stubborn to go back to the house to get a change of clothes and a heavier coat, I caught a cold. Although I was itching to get to the barn and the horses, I was forced to stay inside for four days. I was rather touchy with everyone, and was reminded continually of the folly of staying in the cold with wet clothes by those in the household. I was finally let out and decided to go spend some time away from the mother hens at the house.

So I went to my favorite spot. It was a sort of cliff, or steep hill. From my place I could see the castle, lake, barn, and quite a bit of the fields, but the house is what had caught my eyes at the moment. It was rather a joke of ours to call it a house, but indeed it was a castle, not quite as big as some, but it was majestic and wonderful. The battlements stood proud and the walls were strong. There was a courtyard in the middle with flowers and herbs galore. And wrapped around the west side was a lake, when the sun set it appeared to be on fire. All of this was a part of my life that I was sure I could not do without.

The old estate name is Moonrakers and it is said to come from the fact that the original owners, many Great Grandfathers ago, were merchants. During one of the times that England was at war with France, French wine had become illegal and an expensive commodity to be found. To be found supporting the French nation in such a way would be considered treason. But somehow my ancestors had found ways to barter and sneak the stuff in and they hid it at the bottom of the lake. When they needed to pull it up they would use a long rake to hook the floating string which was attached at the other end to a barrel of wine.

On one such night, a troop who heard rumors about a merchant who dealt with illegal materials came to inspect. They happened upon a man, the owner of the estate, trying to rake the moon's reflection in with a rake. The man saw the situation for what it was and explained to the troops that he was trying to rake the cheese in that was floating in the water. Assuming that the Delaine of the time was completely insane, he was left alone. From that day forward we have been called Moonrakers. It was a lovely story that had been handed down and I often wondered if it was really true or not.

I was interrupted by my thoughts by seeing a vague figure doing something near the barn. I would like to say that I didn't know who it was, or that I had not thought about him during my few days away from the barn, but I rarely lied to people and least of all myself. Erik infuriated me beyond reason, and it was merely because he affected me so strangely that I felt this way. Refusing to consider Erik for any longer I decided to go take a ride, and not just any ride.

I was going to ride Ange, my little demon. And I was going to ride astride!

I knew father would prevent me from riding Ange if he knew, but today he wasn't home. He didn't mind me riding astride as long as I rode nowhere that I could be seen. I tingled with anticipation of riding such a magnificent beast. I had missed riding, although the new horses couldn't quite replace the old ones, I was anxious to get to know and love them.

I quickly returned to the house and changed into my jodhpurs and made may way to the barn, humming the whole way. I gave each of the horses a sugar cube and slipped Ange's halter off the hook. I slid in her stall, crooning and baby talking the whole way.

"That's my girl. I don't bite. Yes, it's ok." I slipped the halter over her nose and ears, fastening the cheek strap. "You and I are going for a little ride, we'll get to know each other."

"I do not think that is a good idea."

Once again I jumped, I whirled around with one hand on the halter, the other planted on a hip. "Don't sneak up on me like that! Your like a ghost!" Obviously that was the wrong thing to say. Whatever it was that I said. Erik paled and it seemed the lights in his eyes dimmed just a bit. Again I had that insatiable urge to comfort him, it made it all the worse when I knew that somehow I had caused him pain, I quickly squashed it.

"_What _exactly is not such a good idea?" I asked quickly, knowing very well what he meant.

"She is not an average lady's mount. Far from it. You could get hurt." I could see him eyeing my jodhpurs dubiously and with some surprise. My temper rose and I resisted the temptation to stamp my foot. To add to the situation, Ange snorted as if in agreement, if I was a onlooker I would have laughed. However, I was not a onlooker, and I felt far from laughing.

"Well, that's good. Because I am not your average lady. Since when did you become the Mistress and I the stable boy?" Oh brother was I mad and I was going to show him exactly what a good horsewoman I was. My teeth were gritted and I was prepared for battle.

"If you want to keep that pretty neck from being broke I suggest you leave the horse for someone else to ride." His voice was calm, without feeling or emotion.

Oh! Of all the infuriating things to compliment me and insult my pride in the same sentence! Before I could retort he simply turned and walked away. Then it occurred to me that he never even raised his voice, became mad, or showed his feelings. I was boiling now.

"I don't take suggestions from stable boys, especially those who are too scared to show their face!"

His step only faltered for a moment, but he didn't stop. My hand suddenly flew to my mouth. What had I just said and done? I didn't know what was wrong with me, I never got this mad with people I didn't know, and I certainly never spoke to them like that. I prided myself on fair judgment, which seemed nonexistent at the moment. I closed my eyes and rested my head against Ange's black neck, oh what had I done?

I suppose the better question is: what could I do to fix it? Apologize. That was a simple answer, I sighed. Easier said than done.

"Another time girl." I gave her one last pat and left in search for Erik. Thoughts of why he wore a mash flittered around my head for the millionth time. As a habit of mine I began making up fairytale stories.

He was heir to a wealthy Count and he fell in love with a poor blacksmith's daughter. His parents told him if he married her they would disown him, but he married her anyway. They lived very happily in the country in a simple cottage, until one fateful night. He had a fight with the love of his life and left the house in anger. When he returned late that night the house was flaming and he battled the flames to reach her. But he was struck on the head with flaming beam (which was the cause for the mask, it hid a gruesome scar) and was knocked unconscious. Neighbors were able to rescue him from the devastation, but it was to late for his lover. That's why he was so sad. Now he was disowned from his family, he had a face that no one could love anymore, and his one true love had left this world leaving him all alone.

I shook my head at myself. I spent to much time reading novels obviously.

I rounded the corner to the tack room and found the subject of my thoughts cleaning tack. I studied him for a moment, he was tall. Probably about six-two. His dark hair had become unruly and a lock fell over his forehead and I felt a strange longing to push it back it place. His lashes were ones any girl would be envious of. His face was very chiseled and well-bred looking. By any means, Erik was very handsome, and again I wondered what the mask hid. He didn't look up so after a moment I cleared my throat and bit my lip, as was a habit of mine. He looked up slowly with a guarded expression.

"I guess I owe you an apology" I paced about the room, picking up a hackamore and a oiled cloth. "I was rather rude. Sometimes I don't think before I speak." I sat on a overturned bucket and began to rub absently on the bridle. It was very quiet for a moment before I said with a wry smile "Well, perhaps it's a bit more than 'sometimes.'"

I thought I saw his lips twitch, but I must have been imagining things.

"It is not your place to apologize Lady Delaine."

I shook my head "It is, and no one calls me that. It's Lessa. Lady Delaine was my mother. If you must refer to my title then call me Lady Lessa. But I much prefer just plain Lessa."

I felt I was babbling on, so I asked: "Where are you from?"

"France" Erik went back to examining and cleaning tack. I sighed, the monosyllable wasn't much to work with.

"I went to France several years ago with my mother before she died. I was very young but I remember it was very beautiful. Did you like it there?"

"No."

"Oh." I might as well be having a conversation with a brick wall. Nevertheless, I tried again.

"How long have you been in Plymouth?" Hopefully this question would force more than one word.

"Why are you doing this?" Erik had his eyes narrowed and he was looking like he was prepared for me to be playing some sort of cruel joke on him.

But at least it was something. Being purposefully ignorant I answered: "I like cleaning tack. It's…" I searched for the right words.

"Calming and exciting all at the same time?" Erik supplied, with something of a sardonic smile on his face.

Remembering my answer from earlier I retorted "Something like that."

"That is not what I meant. Why are you holding this… interview. With me?" I laughed at him and he frowned fiercely at me.

"It's a conversation, not an interview. You know where two people talk, and they offer more than one single, tiny, monosyllable for an answer."

Erik finished cleaning the piece of tack he was working on, sat it aside, and reached for another with a strange expression on his face. "I don't normally have…. conversations…. with people. I am not very practiced at it." He looked rather pained and I tried to make light of it. I wanted, for unexplainable reasons, to make him smile and laugh. I _needed_ to make him happy.

"You are to be considered lucky then. I had lessons in the most _delectable_ art of conversation when I was twelve."

Erik raised an eyebrow and I giggled. "Here I'll show you." I laid my leather and cloth aside. I crossed my legs, sat up straighter and folded my hands in my lap. "Now. I shall ask you a question, it has to be somewhat elaborate, but simple. Too elaborate and you insult your guest, too simple and the same occurs as well." I knew my eyes where sparkling like imps but I just couldn't school them into behaving. Erik had that strange look in his eyes, almost like he was scared. I decided that I had become obsessed with his eyes, and that I was insane. I cleared my throat. "Sir-" I realized that, strangely enough, I didn't know his last name, in a stage whisper I said "Erik, what's your last name?" He had such a frown on his face that I thought he was going to snap at me, but finally he replied quietly

"Giry."

I was thoughtful "Sir Giry. Mmm mmm, that doesn't fit you." I was so wrapped up in my little game that I didn't notice him pale considerably.

"Lord Giry sounds much better." Lord Giry was looking at me like I was insanely unbelievable.

"What is your opinion of the weather today, _Lord_ Giry?"

"Cold."

"Do you think, your Grace, that it will improve?" It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

He looked like he might just ignore me for a moment, but then he narrowed his eyes and said "That would depend on the atmospheric conditions." I don't know how he could bear to say that so seriously, with that fatalistic and impassive face. And I don't know why it sent me into a fit of laughter. I had felt more alive in the last half hour than I can ever remember feeling. I was intoxicated with it. Erik's body movements where conveying that he was irritated and impatient with me, but his eyes betrayed him. I could tell that he was scared to enjoy it, but he wanted to. "That was perfect." I finally managed to get out. "Now this time-"

Oh.

Oh no. The time!

The look on Erik's face told me he was ready to apologize- for something or anything, he reached up to make sure his mask was in place and my heart ached for him. What had life done to him to make him fear living so?

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm late! For my French lessons!" I was already on my way out the door. Erik was rising from his seat, wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Shall I saddle a horse for you Lady Delaine?"

"No, no time! I'll get Jane to take me in the car." I took a few steps back a poked my head around the door with a quick grin

"See you later _Lord_ Giry."

**Hope you enjoyed! I had fun writing this one and I greatly appreciate everyone's support so far. I hope I can continue to please. I realized a few days ago that I have a 'Visitor breakdown' on my page that tells me how many have visited, when, and what country they are from. I am not sure how accurate it is, but I was very excited to count 17 different countries. You can't imagine how awe inspiring that is. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. The Hay Loft

**Chapter four: **

**The hay loft**

French lessons that day where, strangely enough, the most bearable of those previously had. It seemed as if nothing could touch me.

I had unwittingly got leather oil on my dress. Lenore ridiculed me the whole time and as always I felt like the ugly duckling around her, but I didn't dwell on it as I normally did. Mrs Sumther had given us a quiz, which I had failed miserably. After which, Lenore had come to me with those round, innocent looking, green eyes of hers, she put her arm about me. "Dear Lessa, don't fret about it to much. Not all of us can be graceful and successful in learning the arts. Some of us are more beautiful than smart."

She always offered comments in this way. Sometimes she really made you wonder if she didn't mean them like they sounded. But then you knew, of course, she did. "Seeing as how you have neither, you might hopefully find something to your advantage eventually So you see, nothing to fret about."

I was glad to leave, anxious to be away from Lenore.

The weather turned nasty, raining a sleet mush and once again I was prevented from riding Ange. My days were filled with preparing for the end-of-summer ball that was to be held in a fortnight. So even after the rain cleared up I had no time to ride, but I could sneak down to the barn every so often. I would groom the horses and talk to Robert, but part of me wanted to see Erik again something terrible. I deluded myself into thinking I wasn't disappointed when it seemed that he always had some sort of job to do when I was at the barn. I hardly knew this strange man. But perhaps the mystery is what attracted me so.

One evening I had a few moments to myself I grabbed _Northanger Abbey_ from the shelf and headed to the barn. Strange as it might seem, I liked to read in the hay loft. I was comfortably nestled in a pile of hay and totally engrossed in the world of Jane Austen when I heard someone moving around on the loft. Erik was forking hay down and I wondered at myself for not hearing him come up.

"I didn't hear you come up, you move around very quietly."

"You were very absorbed in your book. I did not want to disturb you."

He didn't turn to face me and I watched silently for a moment. Erik was obviously used to physical labor, well muscled and not in the least flaccid, although he seemed rather pale, which was strange. Surely a man accustomed to such tasks would be more tanned? His wary golden eyes met my curious dark brown ones, and I quickly returned my gaze to my book.

I was unable to concentrate even on handsome Mr. Henry Tilney and gave up quickly.

I once more turned to study Erik and began wondering if is life was really as adventurous as I had imagined. Why couldn't my life have a little more…. Well, more? "Erik don't you wish life was like a novel?" Although, dear reader, it may astound you to discover it, but I am quite a shy person. I hide behind a wall of haughty dignity and I never, ever ask questions like that. So although it perhaps astounded you to learn I was shy, it shocked me ten times more to hear those bold words coming out of my own mouth.

This time he turned to look at me and his eyes seemed to look right into me. "Not all books end happily." His deep voice was very melodic and I wondered why I hadn't noticed how alluring it was before. I almost laughed at myself, I was becoming the very thing I loathed: A silly, man-crazy, girl. I wondered what had happened to him, if his story hadn't ended happily. But then, of course, it hadn't ended yet.

"But they _should_ all end with 'and they lived happily ever after'" I retorted. Erik leaned up against a beam and cocked his head slightly. "Perhaps life is more about lessons learned than happily ever after." I wanted to ask him what lessons he had learned, what caused all that sadness to be locked into those beautiful amber eyes. But instead I shook my head and said: "I haven't been around much, and the only true sorrow I've seen is the loss of my Mother. But I think life is more about how well we loved and how we earned love in return, I'm sure nothing will ever convince me otherwise." I hesitated for a moment before I said:

"Life is like a rose

As each tender petal unfolds

Softly at first

And then with a sudden burst

Love is like a lily

As pure and sweet as a new day

Bringing forth it's sweet song

Compassionate in every way"

Erik stared at me, I bit my bottom lip. Perhaps I had bit a bit to vehement., I tended to be so when I felt things passionatly. "That's what life _should_ be about. I read it somewhere once." The last part wasn't completely a lie. I wrote it down and then read it, so yes. I did read it somewhere once. Erik was still looking at me strangely and I was fervently hoping he fell for it. Suddenly a piece of hay seemed very interesting.

"In what book? Perhaps I would like to read it sometime." Although he wasn't smiling, there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. I raised my chin in defiance. "You know, I don't-" I was interrupted by the sound of horse hooves in the yard. Father was home and would be furious if he saw hay on my hair and dress. He would assuming that I was… doing something very uncouth. I scrabbled to my feet. "Father is back! He'll be livid if he finds me looking like a scarecrow."

I franticly brushed the hay off my dress then realized that it was probably all in my hair as well. If I tried to pull it out I might grab a pin instead of hay and pull my hair, which was precariously piled on top of my head, down from it's confinement. Erik was watching me with a raised eyebrow and inspiration struck. I cleared my throat

"Would you mind getting the hay out of my hair? I might accidentally pull it down." I thought he was going to refuse for a moment but instead he came and stood in front of me. His fingers lingered in my hair longer than necessary at first, but I must have been imagining things. Almost as soon as the thought formed he began moving much faster to get the hay out.

Standing this close to Erik was doing funny things to me, I couldn't seem to think straight. A thought would form half way before another one would sputter out. Everything seemed to move at a painfully slow pace yet I was feeling strangely dizzy. Erik's eyes locked with mine and I briefly wondered if my eyes held that same intensity. His hand moved toward the collar of my dress and I couldn't seem to breath.

"You missed a piece." Erik held up a piece of hay between us and the spell was broken. "Thank you." His voice was calm and collected, why did mine have to sound so breathless? Had I just imagined all that? I lifted my chin, as if in defiance of the world, as was my habit when I was flustered. Without another word, and with all the dignity I could muster, I climbed down the ladder. I stepped lightly out of the barn with my chin held at a dignified level- Remember: I never flounce.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,

That night inspiration struck as I prepared for bed. I hadn't written anything in a few weeks, so I was delighted to pull out my little poem book and scribble down my thoughts.

_Cleopatra had her Antony _

_And Shakespeare had his quill_

_Hercules had his destiny_

_And Caesar his iron will _

_I don't need a scepter to shake_

_And tragic love storys I shant make_

_Yes, I have everything I could ask for_

_Except for a little more… more!_

_Every toreador has his fiery red cape_

_And every bee her hive of honey_

_Every banana has his ape_

_Every horse had his whinny!_

_I don't want a banana to peel_

_And the tip of a bull's horn I hope to never feel_

_But every vine has the chance to climb _

_And the minute hand, of course, has time_

_And I want an adventure that is mine, mine, mine!_

_I have everything I could ask for_

_Everything but just a little more…. More!_

I re-read, checking for little mistakes, feeling quite satisfied with myself. I placed my little book carefully and lovingly in my bedside table drawer, and placed other papers on top. I don't know why I felt like I needed to hide it, but I did. Other than myself, Jane was the only person to know about my little poems and I intended on keeping it that way.

With pleasant thoughts running through my head I drifted off into sleep, where I could dream up all the adventures I wished for.

**~.....................................................**

**Hope everyone had a great Christmas! I myself will not celebrate chrismas until the end of January or February because my Daddy's working out of state and can't afford to come home for Christmas. It was a bit strange for all of us, especially Mom. I've never spent a Christmas day without him, but it was nice enough despite the circumstances. It sounds horrible, but we are just thankful that he has a job, as so many don't including my older brother. **

Both of the poems are mine, and written by me. The first one is only partial, the rest of it goes something like this:

_Life is like a rose_

_As each tender petal unfolds_

_Softly at first_

_And then with a sudden burst _

_Love is like a lily_

_As pure and sweet as a new day_

_Bringing forth it's sweet song_

_Compassionate in every way_

_Laughter is like a daisy_

_Bright and full of fun_

_It's here for such a short time, we'll learn_

_But with life and love it will return_

_Tears are like the rain_

_It quenches the thirst of life love and laughter_

_And washes away the dust of time_

_Bringing hope to yours and mine_

Hope you enjoyed the new chapter(I know it was kinda short), and have a great new year!

Don't forget to review!


	5. Wisdom and Smartness

**Chapter five: **

**Wisdom and Smartness**

The rest of the week elapsed without any great problems, I even found time to ride Diva. She was a joy to me, she lived to obey her riders commands, but was spirited enough to make you keep your wits about you while riding. It seems as if the threat of an early winter had subsided, leaving it very pleasant outdoors, so when I wasn't writing letters for Father or organizing the upcoming ball, I was outside.

I had even discovered the difference between Nimrod and Jack. Nimrod had two swirls of hair on his forehead, while Jack only possessed one. There is on old tale saying a horse with two swirls is much smarter than those with one, but they are both darlings and as gentle as young kittens. Rosie, I had discovered was a great listener, and seemed to give the nod of her head or stamp her foot at precisely the right moments of my often lond, and rambling dissertations to her.

While I began to love all the horses, none of them fascinated me quite so much as Ange, whom I had yet to ride. I was waiting for a time when both my Father and Erik were out of the way. Erik has no say in what I did or didn't do, so I don't know what I was worried about.

I sighed and struck a discordant note on the piano forte. Thoughts of Erik always brought confusion so I struggled to not think about him, only in the process, the exact opposite was achieved. When I was with him I felt content and wasn't shy in the least, but the moment I left him I began to wonder if I had made a complete fool of myself.

In the past week we had spent quite a bit of time together. While we had little conversation, our silences were mostly companionable ones, most of my thoughts being spent on trying to figure out what his thoughts were. Sometimes I would say things and he would almost smile, but not quite. Then he would seem even sadder than before, if possible.

I closed my eyes and played two high notes slowly and repeatedly.

Once, I thought I was alone in the barn-well alone except for Ange-, so I began singing- lowly, just in case. I moved the curry comb with the rhythm of the song. It was a soothing lullaby I often sang.

"The wind whispers across the plain

Through the rippling seas of green

The gossamer green, a sight to be seen

Like the pied piper with his enchanters flute

It beckons with it's musical strain.

Calling, calling

Not calling in vain

Whispering, begging, calling my name.

It caresses the lethargic trees,

Until with a sigh they let loose their leaves-"

A sound behind me caused me to turn slowly, not really wanting to see who had heard me sing. I could already feel a blush creeping up my neck. Of course it was Erik. He had a rather strange nostalgic look, but imps were dancing in his eyes. Ohhh! He knew I was embarrassed. I cringed and raised my chin.

"I.. I thought I was alone." He shook his head, it was one of those times he almost smiled. "It was… nice." He pretend to be searching for a word before he carefully used the word 'nice'. Erik every so often would come out of his shell and tease me a little. It was always a surprise and a delight when he did because most of the time he was overly cautious with what he said, it was like he was afraid the slightest word would injure me. He was deliberately teasing me so I decided not to take the bait. "Music has always captivated me. Once, when I was seven, Father and I went into town and at one point, when he turned around, I was missing. He found me over an hour later in a back alley." I laughed "There was a band of gypsies playing music, and I had followed the sounds I heard and forgot completely about Father. Sometimes I think I'm still on restriction for it." I leaned closer and talked in a conspiring whisper "When I was little I dreamed of being a famous opera diva." Suddenly Erik seemed very uncomfortable and the playful light that was there a moment ago seemed to dim. I didn't know what I said, so trying to give him an opportunity to change the subject I asked "Do you like music?" He turned to face away from me, reminding me of a frightened horse.

"No." That was the angriest had had ever heard him get, but music was so dear and precious to me it always confused me that someone couldn't like music. It would be lying if I didn't admit that I was a little offended and I reminded myself that everyone has different tastes.

"I can't imagine…." It was spoken more to myself. I really couldn't imagine. To simply not like music was one thing but to feel so ardent a dislike. It must have been something in his past that caused it. But then, what could cause a dislike of music?

I walked around to see his face and smiled a little at him. "You know, I'm always prattling on quite a bit. As a matter of fact you probably know most of my life story! But I know so little about you." He had that fatal, impassive look on his face.

"Perhaps there is nothing worth knowing."

I unconsciously reached up and touched his arm

"I doubt that. Maybe-" Maybe what? What was I going to say? I blocked my thoughts immediately. Was I completely insane? I mentally shook my head at myself.

"See you tomorrow Erik."

And with that I left.

And here I was. That had been two days ago and although I really didn't know anything else about Erik, we had become closer. I feel as if I didn't let my mouth run as much and Erik seemed to be more comfortable around me. However-- I played a piece of Beethoven's fifth, the only piece I knew by heart: Three G's follow by an E flat, then three F's followed by a D-- people were beginning to notice. Nothing bad was said yet. The key word being 'yet.' I was too wise in the ways or aristocracy and servants to think that the faint rumors were just harmless chatter. I knew without a doubt that they could quickly become ugly. Everyone knew I was always friendly with the servants, although some disliked the fact, they all accepted the fact.

Erik was different though. He was not only a man, but a masked man at that. It also seemed that there was something about him that drew attention- good or bad, whether he wanted it or not. I knew the wise thing to do was to discontinue my friendship with Erik.

But being wise and smart are two different things.

………………………………

**So there it is. It's really short, I know, so I'll put another chapter out within two days(hopefully). Thanks for al the interest.**

**_Girlycard666-_**

**Thanks for pointing out that typo, if I slip up on the keyboard my word processing program thinks it will be smart and 'fix' the word. Unfortunately, it usually gets it wrong. As for why I chose Erik's last name as Giry: I can't offer up any spoilers right now, that would be well…. Spoiling things!**

**Please keep the reviews coming.**


	6. The Fall

**Chapter six:**

**The Fall**

It rained lightly that night and temperatures once again dipped down into freezing. I loved the winter time so I felt renewed energy. I had been in father's study writing and responding to letters. I had plans to ride Diva afterwards and was anxious to get through. I was just beginning on the last letter when father came in.

"Good morning."

"Good morning father." I set my pen down for a moment, I could tell he just stopped by to ask or tell me something. I was half afraid it was about Erik.

"I have business in town and then at the docks. I probably will not be back until late." His sentences were always straight and to the point. He never said anything frilly, and if it didn't have to be said he wouldn't say it. He had a very poised being, a sort of elegance about him in the way he carried himself. He wasn't overly tall, just about six foot, his hair was gray and had always been that way ever since I was born. But still, he never seemed to look older, he was one of those people that seemed as if they would always be there and would never age. The truth was he was in his late fifties. He almost turned to go, then turned back as though to say something else. He had a strange look in his eye that I could not interpret.

He touched the top of my head in a sort of pat. "I'll see you tomorrow daughter." With that he abruptly left. I was a little stunned, for a moment but gave it little thought. I shook my head and went back to finishing the letter.

**.....................**

The letters where finished I had returned to my room change into my favorite riding habit. I had decided to ride down the path that would take me near some of the tenets houses, and the rule was that I couldn't ride in jodphurs where people might see me. It was of dark blue with a fitted bodice and matching black riding hat which sported peacock feathers. The cuffs had a intricate, lighter blue lace around them which hung over my wrists and black gloves. The colors suited me and made me look almost beautiful. Because of the hat it was necessary for me to put my hair in a low bun, so I twisted it and coiled it on the back of my head. The coil was so thick then pins didn't seem to be holding very well so I pinned it to my hat for added security. With one last glance in the mirror I was out the door. Jane was in the hall as I was coming out.

"I'm going riding Jane" I stopped at the end of the hall, looking out the window that overlooked the lawn, while slipping on my gloves. Erik was riding out the drive in the buggy with Nimrod.

"It's just as well, you've been cooped un in this house to long. You look lovely." I hardly heard her.

"Jane, where is Erik going?" She joined me by the window. "The Master sent him on an errand I dare say."

I inwardly laughed to myself, he looked far too elegant to be a servant. He looked more like the Lord of the Manor himself.

"Are you still going riding, love?" I glanced at Jane, who had a sly look on her face. I laughed lightly, putting a curb on my disappointment.

"Of course."

I laughed a little louder. "and with both of them gone, I'm riding Demon!"

Ange was in the paddock so I had Robert bring her in. Since I was was wearing my riding habit I had to ride sidesaddle. I took my time grooming her, and was ready to tack her up when, out of the blue, a shoelace broke. I couldn't very well ride comfortably with a loose shoe so I had Robert saddle her while I went to fix it.

I was a little flustered when I came back, it had taken me longer than I wanted. I had an extra shoelace, but it was the wrong color. Jane insisted that she had a matching one somewhere, but she couldn't find it in her sewing box where she kept her 'to be mended' items. Although it was eventually found it took some minutes and I was very impatient to go and come before Erik came back.

Robert brought Ange out as I approached the barn. "She's all ready miss." He held her head while I mounted and then we were off. I warmed her up at a walk and then a trot. She was very sprightly and anxious to have her own way, but I was just as stubborn as she was. She obviously hadn't been ridden in some time. Ange was, as father predicted, quite a handful. After riding in the paddock for a while I let myself out. It was very windy but she didn't seem spooky. Nevertheless, I had decided riding out across the forest path and towards the tenets might be a little to much on our first day together, but I did want to see how she did outside the barn.

My little demon was just that, a little demon. Although it somehow didn't seem quite right to call the twelve hundred pound brute a 'little' Demon. There was a grouping of ancient oak trees between the house and barn and I decided to take her there and circle her around behind the barn.

There is a rule I have with animals (and on occasion, people) once I have given a command I will fight until it is followed through. If a horse learns she can get away with murder once, she then knows she will succeed in doing just that again and again. Thirty minutes later when I had made it half-way between our starting point and the oak trees I had learned two things: What a pain a barn sour horse can be and that I was beginning to regret my self-made taboo. I was half wishing I had not worried about the shoestring in the begining so I would have some plausible excuse to quit. Ange tried every trick in the book, but God must have sent a whole brigade of guardian angels because, though I had several close calls, I had yet to fall.

I was so engrossed in Ange that I didn't hear Erik come up the drive with the cart. To my immense relief Demon suddenly seemed to tire of this game and began walking demurely forward. I felt very victorious and was so happy I could have clapped. As it was I couldn't stop from smiling triumphantly.

My triumph was short lived. I should have known, but I blamed it on my eagerness to end this ride. Suddenly, and without warning, she did one strange little bunny jump with all four feet into the air, and thrust out her hind legs violently. I'm sure from the ground it probably looked like a capriole any dressage trainer would be proud to witness. It all happened so fast I didn't even remember flying through the air to land some four or five feet away on the unforgiving, frozen ground. I was so stunned I couldn't move and my thoughts ran amuck for a moment. I realized that at least I had not been thrown against a tree but I had landed in a patch of some sort of thorny plant. Out of all the thoughts that I could be thinking my first was: I should have to see the gardener to get this plant trimmed down.

"Lessa!" It was Erik's voice and for a moment I was angry that he witnessed my humiliation, but then I realized that he sounded extremely worried. I hadn't tried to move yet, I was half afraid I'd done some real damage. But, since I was hurting everywhere that had to be a good sign. Just as Erik approached I began to sit up but he said in a clipped voice "Don't move." He squatted down beside me. He seemed… almost angry, but yet it wasn't anger. I wasn't sure what it was. "Does anything feel broken?" Again the words were terse.

"I don't think so. But then, I don't know what broken bones feel like." I tried to smile a little. He began feeling my arms for abnormalities, his finger tips were sending little pulses through me and making my heart race. I told myself that I was imagining things again. I watched his face, it seemed as though it were carved from stone. His features were set into a stoic mask that, to me, was more disturbing than the real one he wore. His lips formed a tight line and his eyes were hard.

"Where does it hurt the most?" I shrugged the best I could from my position and touched the tip of my nose with a finger.

"It _doesn't_ hurt here." I wasn't about to tell him my backside was the most offending member. I couldn't help giggling at the thought. I sat up slowly and Erik stood up and looked down at me. Now he was angry.

"This is not a game Miss Delaine. You could have been seriously hurt or killed."

"Well, I wasn't! And I wouldn't have fell if I wasn't required to ride that blasted side saddle!" Who was he to get angry with me?

"I warned you not to ride her, she's unsafe. You're a spoiled, rich child, who must have her own way." He turned to walk away.

"A child?" I gave a very unladylike snort "I'm not the one name calling."

"And I'm not the one manipulating people." He turned back around to face me, his eyes had grown dark and seemed to be shooting sparks. Manipulating people?

"What is that supposed to mean?" I stood up, my back stiff, my chin in the air. Unfortunately I hadn't realized my hat was hanging by a mere single pin and a gust of wind whipped it right off my head taking the pin along with it and my hair came tumbling down. I was completely furious. I walked forward until I was just a few feet away from Erik.

"I think your forgetting your place. I could easily find someone else to take your place. Your not indispensable." Erik closed the distance between us with a few steps, he didn't say anything. He just stood there watching me with that fiery gaze. We were both breathing hard, our breaths making little clouds in the air. I crossed my arms and turned my face away to show him how unaffected I was by his attempts at intimidation. But I was affected, I was trembling all over. I told myself it was from the cold and anger, not from his closeness.

He put his fingers under my chin and pulled my head around, none to gently, to face him. We were inches apart, breathing the same air. His eyes held me captive. For a fleeting moment I thought he was going to kiss me. What startled me was that I wanted him to kiss me. Then I realized that I must be going insane.

"No act of defiance to the world is worth anyone's life. Not even yours." The spell was broken, those last three words burned my ears and my anger surged.

"Not even mine? I see. Since when did you become an expert on philosophy?" I wasn't really expecting a reply and Erik did not give one. Those words caused deep pain to my ego, and something else, some other small part of me, recoiled.

"At least I know what you think of me now. Good day."

I snatched my had off the ground in one angry motion and left.

**.............................**

Jane stood at Lessa's bedroom window. While she couldn't hear any words she saw the exchange of heated movements. She could guess what they were saying, both so angry they were blind to the pain on the others face.

She knew both so well. One from experience and the other from her sisters letters. Lessa didn't understand what she was feeling, but Jane knew. She saw it building in her eyes. After all, had she not been in love once when she was young? She couldn't help but chuckle a little when Lessa's hat flew off and her hair came tumbling down in a cascade of silken curls, all the way to her waist. She was the picture of some ancient goddess carved from stone with her whole person displaying her anger, eyes flashing and hair blowing in the wind. Although Lessa was probably to angry to see it, Jane saw that Erik couldn't hide the appreciation in his eyes.

Erik's feelings were harder to interpret, of course he feared letting anyone get close to him. Jane guessed he was afraid of hurting and being hurt. It was so much easier to suffer loneliness than the pain of rejection.

They seemed such an unlikely match. Lessa so innocent and naïve, Erik so world weary. Both so proud.

But there they were, falling in love with each other.

_**.........................**_

**So there you are. For those who don't know anything about horses, barn sour is when a horse that doesn't want to leave the barn and at every oppertunity and by any means nessacary trys to prevent leaving the area. I personally know that it can take hours to get a horse to go where he/she doesn't want to go. It's possibly one of the most frustrating tasks that exist because you can't show your horse that you are frustrated(Sounds rather confusing I know). **

**As for what a Capriole is: look it up on Youtube. It's really great and so beautiful. **

**Dressage, if you don't already know, is a French term that means 'Training.' It is the methods that ancient warriors used to train their horses for battle and it is quiet similar to ballet. If you have some free time I urge you to look up Andreas Helgstrand on Youtube and watch his preformance.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	7. The End Of Summer Ball

**Chapter seven:**

**The Ball**

I didn't want Erik to think that I was going our of my way to avoid him, which of course I was, so I continued to make my excursions to the barn. Erik steered clear of me and I of him. However I did notice, much to my humor and satisfaction, that a few days later when I decided to ride Ange again, Erik managed to stay nearby.

The End Of Summer Ball was drawing near. Moonraker's was in the turmoil of preparation. Everyone was excited and full of happy anticipation. This was a very special ball, it was designed where no servant need be on hand, so that any servant who wished to attend, could. It was an old tradition that if a servant did not attend it was a polite, yet unmistakable way to say he or she was not was not happy with his or her station. Whether it was money or treatment, the next day the servant was granted a audience with the Mistress of the manor to discuss what could be done. There had been only a few instances over the past years, but no one had not attended for the last two years.

I had my dress fitting. Mme Beucard, the seamstress, was wonderful and did an absolutely beautiful job. My dress was to be of dark royal purple velvet. It was slightly off the shoulders, the neckline dipping down, but not too low, to form a slight V shape. The bodice came down to a point in the front, which was the fashion of the day. The skirt was full and I would be required to wear crinoline under it. It had numerous gathers with a rosette of some sheer matching purple fabric at each gather.

I was ecstatic. I was sure that this ball would be, by far, the best I had ever attended. Life seemed good at the moment, Erik was the only discordant note in my life. I was the happiest I had been since my Mother's death. I gave little thought to the future I was so contented with the present time. Perhaps if I had been more aware of the changes, however slight they were, some of the future pains I would have to face might have been averted or been made easier to bear. My father seemed always preoccupied and absent minded of late and I became slightly worried. I had affection for my father but he was a stranger to me, I was so busy with the preparations that I gave little thought to his oddness.

I should have known that a shadow was about to cast itself overhead.

There was always a breakfast buffet set up in the morning, and although I rarely ate breakfast, father almost always did. It was on one of these rare occasions that I met father and, although little was normally said, he began making small talk. Perhaps I should have been forewarned, but I had no inclination on what he was about to present.

The conversation grew quiet for a moment before he said rather haltingly: "I suppose you are looking forward to the ball." It was more of a statement than a question. I smiled a little.

"Of course. Everyone is very excited about it."

"Yes, yes of course." He paused for just a moment before he seemed to make up his mind about something and plunged forward.

"There is a man who will be attending, an acquaintance of mine, he is the Comte Fontaine. I would like you to get to know him, I think er, that is I hope, you will get on well. He will be staying for at least a week or so after the ball." I nodded in compliance, obviously the impact of his words was slow in coming. I was thinking of how I should have one of the maids prepare a room. He nodded as well, with a very satisfied look on his face.

"Good day." He stood, still looking very pleased, and went out of the room. It was about sixty seconds before the full meaning of his words hit home. It's amazing how, just a few minutes ago, I was willing the ball to come sooner. And now I was dreading it with all my being.

Father was planning an arranged marriage.

**....................**

I had convinced myself that I had misunderstood father's meaning, I had always been rather dramatic. I consoled myself with this thought for awhile, Jane after hearing my story agreed with me. But later, when I found father in his study, I got the truth from him. I was getting older, nearing nineteen in fact, and needed to find a husband before it was to late. I needed someone to look after me when father was no longer around.

Perhaps I had built my life around fairy tales and fantasy, but I had always dreamed the idea of a marriage filled with affection and passion. To me, duties due to a husband seemed very unappealing without love coming into it. It's true, I was almost nineteen and some people whispered of me becoming an old maid, but I would rather live a lonely life than marry without love. I tried to dissuade my father from the idea, but to no avail.

For me at least, the preparations for the ball were now almost unbearable. But they must be made. I yearned for the friendship I had had with Erik, but I was to prideful to go to him. Jane, Father, Myself, and of course the Comte were the only ones who knew of what I liked to think of as my impending doom.

The great happiness I had known vanished, with it's vanishing came a sort of restlessness. Nothing seemed to keep me occupied for very long. I was like a child who wanted to do everything yet nothing would satisfy me and I couldn't stay in one place for very long. Jane had a sister, Annette, in France with whom she corresponded frequently. Jane had always said that Annette knew of everyone worth knowing in France, so I asked her to write to her sister and see if she had heard of this Comte Fontaine, since Father had just told me wait and see. The reply was quick in coming: Annette did not know him personally, but he was supposed to be very well off and have quite a large estate.

Before then I hadn't realized the great possibility of me leaving my most beloved Moonraker's and thoughts of leaving it were painful. The ball was in two days and I was overwhelmed, so I went to the barn to get away from it all. Robert was sweeping the isle and immediately asked which of the horses I wanted today. "I don't think I'm riding today, Robert."

"Shall I bring out your brushes then?"

I shook my head. "No thank you, Robert." He looked a little quizzical for a moment before he said:

"If you don't mind me saying so Miss Lessa, you look a might bit down. Is there anything I can do to help?" I smiled a little to make him feel better, he was always very kind and helpful to me. "I'm afraid not Robert. There's not much anyone can do. I just came to see how the horses were today." He seemed to take the gentle hint.

"Well, if you need me Miss, I'll be in the tack room."

Just as Robert was going around the corner, Erik was coming out and I vaguely wondered if he had been listening to our conversation. I didn't want him to notice how depressed I was feeling so I put on my best front. I felt a great disappointment when he just walked past me without a word. I couldn't repress the tingling sensations I always felt when he was near, this time I chose to blame it on my nerves. I tried to think of something, some excuse to stop him, but none came.

A few moments later I returned to the house, my spirits even lower than before.

**..............**

The day of the ball had arrived. I had made a firm resolve with myself: I may be forced to marry this man, but he would never guess my disappointment, nor would anyone else. He may be ruining my dreams but I would still strive for happiness. I would enjoy this ball that I worked so hard on.

A strange sort of morbid curiosity overtook me as to what type of man this Comte was. I had pictured a man, not to short, yet shorter than I, rather rotund with a round face and thinning hair. He would be domineering, loud, and have a sort of mean humor. Then I had pictured a short man, skinny and lanky, he would be sly, shrewd, and sneaky. These thoughts alarmed me, but they refused to leave me in peace. More than once I caught myself thinking: if only it were Erik. I would gladly marry him. I would pretend to be shocked at my surprising thoughts, then I would shake myself and be in a fowl mood for a time.

I found myself becoming more and more gleeful of the fact that Erik had no choice, in all politeness, but to come to the ball. I wanted him to see me in my dress and all my grandeur. I wanted to prove to him that I was no child, that I was indeed a woman.

That evening I bathed in rose water and took extra time polishing my nails till they shone. I began to fret over my looks and became haughty with everyone. I was always vain, but this time is was different. Erik was going to be there. I didn't seem to care what my future husband thought of me. Jane arrived and covered the mirror with a sheet, ordering me not to peek until I was completely finished getting ready. She helped me to dress and then began the long and arduous process of brushing out my hair. I was impatient and once she began actually putting my hair up it took her at least thirty minutes to finish, it seemed like hours, but unfortunately I had a clock to deny the fact.

Jane adorned my hair with miniature white roses and seemed very proud with the finished product. I was going to put a small amount of rouge on my lips, and headed towards the mirror to unveil it. Jane immediately jump between me and the mirror. "I said when you were completely through, love. I'll do that." She added the finishing touches and readjusted my dress. After a moment I could tell she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure. She stood back and looked at me, her eyes were very moist, and I knew that she was fighting tears.

"Your all grown up. Your not my little girl anymore. You know I always fancied that you were." I had to blink back tears of my own as I threw my arms around her. "Oh Jane! I'm so afraid of the future!"

"Your in God's hands, love. Just remember." She cleared her throat and became her normal brusque self again. "Your crushing your dress." I stepped back, smoothed it out, and went to stand in front of the mirror.

"I'm ready now Jane." She pulled the sheet off, and there I stood. I took a small step forward.

"You look regal enough to be the Queen herself."

I was shocked, why I was almost beautiful!

I shook my head. "I think someone has cast a spell on this mirror Jane." She clucked her tongue at me and began leading me out of the room. "All right now, enough with silly nonsense. Off with you! For a hostess to be late at her own ball would be very tacky indeed."

The ball room was very grand. On one end was a large spiral staircase, every step with a lighted candle to the outside. Down the banister hung a garland decorated with numerous fruits from the forest. The opposite end had large double doors that opened wide for a airy room. To the left of these doors were two smaller rooms. One was where guests could take a respite from the noisy ball room to talk sensibly if they so wished, the other was opened to the dining hall where the table was laden with innumerable meats, drinks and sweet confections. To the right of the great doors was another door leading into the garden. It had been lit extraordinarily well and all the fountains had been scrubbed to the point of sparkling. The ballroom itself was breathtaking. The cathedral ceiling made it appear much larger than it truly is. The tile on the floor gave the illusion of being gold with silver streaks, and there were hundreds of flowers placed about the room.

Father met me at the bottom of the stairs. I was looking around the room for Erik, but I saw no sign of him. "The Comte has not arrived yet, but he did say that business might detain him for an uncertain amount of time." I felt slightly embarrassed, here I was going to marry another man and I hadn't given him one thought since I descended the stairs. Although I tried to hide my relief at his late coming, Father shook his head. "In time, Lessa. In time you will understand." I was going to ask him what he meant, but someone drew his attention away from me.

Because of the large size of the ball I was not required to stand at the door and great those who entered. So I began to search out a familiar face, and found it in little Marie, Cook's daughter. Marie was a little slip of a girl, probably about seventeen, she was quiet and thoughtful, but hardly shy as she would tell you exactly what was on her mind if you asked. There was always talk of her not being quite in her right mind, I always tried to quiet such chattering but I could not stop it completely. Sometimes she was normal enough, but other times she would seem very childlike. When she was like that everyone called it one of her 'moods'. She was standing by herself looking decidedly unhappy, so I went on a mission to find what the matter was and cheer her up.

"Why, what can make you so sad on a night like tonight Marie?" I could tell she was in one of her moods.

"I only have one necklace. No earrings or bracelets. And when I was trying to put it on, it broke. I look like a ugly duckling." She pouted a little and eyed my jewelry despairingly.

"I see." I chewed on my lower lip. It was a silly thing of course, but every one should be happy tonight. I was racking my mind for some consolation to make her feel better, then I had an idea.

"I have just the thing to make you feel better." She looked a little dubious, but I smiled my assurances and she brightened a little. "I'll be back in just a few moments." I hurried back to my room and pulled out my jewelry box. I dug around until I found exactly what I was looking for. It was a necklace of three braided gold chains and three small diamonds were set in the middle. It was beautiful without being overly extravagant looking. I never wore it do to the fact that I disliked diamonds, they were colorless, unfeeling stones to me. I quickly pulled out a matching bracelet and earrings, both were of the same braided gold but neither possessed the diamonds.

Suddenly I realized that more guests will have arrived and possibly the Comte would be among them. _I'm not ready for this_, I thought, _I can't do this_. I quickly became panicked and almost sick to my stomach. It took a few moments to calm myself, but when I returned it was with dignity.

I had scarcely began to descend the stairs when I saw them. Marie was standing close to the bottom of the stairs with tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Erik was with her, but his back was to me. Her eyes were intent on his face but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I couldn't stop the insane hammering of my heart when I saw him. Faintly I heard snatches of what Marie was saying. "So she said… …I waited… Maybe she for- Oh! There she is!" She spotted me on the stairs, her face lit up. Erik hesitated momentarily before he turned to face me. I pretended to not have seen them among the throngs of people. I felt Erik's gaze on me and longed to take just one glance to see if there was any appreciation in his eyes, but my pride wouldn't allow it.

I finally made a visible note of them at the bottom of the stairs and took a sweeping glace at Erik. He was wearing much the same as usual, except his shirt was whiter and look ironed. He had a simple brown jacket, as was the fashion for the less endowed, and instead of a white leather mask he wore a black one that covered the whole top half of his face. Erik was a stunning picture. As simply dressed as he was, I could easily picture him mixing with the aristocrats.

There was something in his eyes that I wanted to believe was admiration, but perhaps I was being too self-absorbed.

"Good evening, Erik." I tried to tell him with my voice and eyes that I forgave what he had said, I wanted to be on good terms tonight. I _ne__eded _to be on good terms. Something flashed in his eyes, I wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't seem good.

"Miss Delaine." His reply stung. I understood exactly what he was saying. I swallowed disappointment and turned towards Marie.

"I found just the thing to fix our problem Marie. _And_ you can keep it." I held up the hand that I had the jewelry in. Her pale blue eyes grew round with disbelief.

"You don't really mean that?"

"Of course I do, silly. Turn around and I'll do your necklace." I put it around her neck and she quickly put her hand to it as if she were afraid it would disappear. "My own necklace…" I heard her mutter dreamily. I threw glance at Erik, who was looking back at me. He had something in those golden eyes that almost seemed like… Affection. I shook myself, now I was the one who was silly. I gave her the earrings to clip on and then her bracelet.

"Now, I'm sure you're the bell of the ball." She giggled and nearly clapped in delight, I knew I looked just as delighted as she. Someone called to me and I was drawn away from Erik and Marie.

I danced the first dance with an elderly gentleman who had long been an aquatince of my father. After that, the first thirty minutes whirled by and I even found myself forgetting from time to time that my soon-to-be fiancé could arrive at any moment. Balls were the best way to communicate gossip to others and I could hear and see several people whispering about something. I assumed that it was obviously something to do with me because every time I passed by a group of whisperers, the subject would be immediately changed.

I cared little, and felt no curiosity. People always wanted something to talk about, especially if it had to do with someone elses life, and often that someone else's life had been mine or my fathers.

The room was stifling and for the moment I was alone, so I decided to get some fresh air in the garden. I had not gone very far when I heard voices. They were very low and it was clearly a private conversation between two giggling girls. I could catch faint snatches of their conversation, but was not paying any heed until a few words caught my attention. It never occurred to me that I was eavesdropping.

"Oh yes! Everyone is talking about it!"

"Did no one inform him that this wasn't a masked ball?" There was a fit of giggles and I strained to listen to the conversation.

"I can't believe the old man hired him, Delaine must be loony!" This was a male voice that I hadn't heard before and I felt sudden anger rising at the mention of my Father.

"They say he wears the mask because he's a hideous monster." Once more there was a few giggles and this time the man joined in laughing.

"Did you hear of how one of the maidservants went missing right after he was hired? She just disappeared. All the other's say that he threatens them constantly."

"Oh!"

"It's true. They say he's the devil himself and he's got his eye on the mistress of the estate."

"He's a beast!"

I wasn't sure if I had ever been so angry in my life, and I was about to let that miserable trio know just was I thought of their pack of lies. I only made one step, however, before a hand clamped around my arm and pulled me back. I jumped in surprise and whirled around, ready to lash out at the person impeding me. The breath left me in a whoosh when I saw it was Erik.

He was standing there looking so…. Helpless.

"Don't." It was a quiet, commanding voice that meant to leave no room for argument. I hated the resignation that was on his face and in his eyes.

"You heard those… those loathsome creatures!" I spoke in a harsh whisper. I made to pull away and to my surprise, he let me.

"I have always heard them. No matter what you, do they will continue to talk." With that he turned and left. I stood there for a few moments collecting my thoughts. I had always been able to sympathize with others easily, but feeling Erik's pain was almost more that I could bear. I knew I would give anything to see him smile, and I would give even more if I could be the one to cause that smile. I wasn't sure why, I just contributed it to the fact that I enjoyed making people happy and Erik was an especially hard case so I wanted it more than ever.

I had returned to the ballroom at the beginning of a rather dreamy waltz when it happened.

It had probably been building on itself for a while and I was to wrapped up in myself to pay any attention. Because of Marie's mental state she had few, if any suitors at the ball, and Erik took pity on her. I hadn't seen Erik dance any beforehand and I was delighted that he was making Marie feel better, but slightly ashamed of the jealousy I was feeling. A few of the couples that were on their way to dance turned away and slowly, much to my astonishment, the couples that had already began to dance stopped.

Father looked slightly embarrassed as Cook walked up to the only remaining pair and led a very unhappy Marie off the dance floor. The rumors had grown to the extreme, as had my temper. The band continued to play the waltz somewhat timidly, I was glad at least they hadn't stopped.

Erik stood there for a moment and I had never seen such a look on anyone's face. It broke my heart and gave me such pain. He was turning to leave and I never even stopped to consider my next actions. I walked towards him determinedly and laid my hand on his shoulder, he stiffened for a moment before turning around to face me.

"May I have this dance?"

His eyes widened with shock. "Don't be foolish!" he hissed.

"I will indeed look foolish if you refuse me." I muttered. He took my hand and I was surprise at how small mine felt in his large hand. The band gained confidence as we began to dance, and slowly a few embarrassed faces began to reappear on the dance floor.

"I'm sorry Erik. I feel so ashamed about how your were treated." I couldn't stop my anger from bubbling up again. His golden eyes seemed to search my face for any hints of sarcasm. "Those horrid rumors…." I trailed off unsure of what to say or how to say it in a ladylike fashion.

"I'm no saint Lessa." The words were unexpected but I retorted: "No one is."

"Some less so than others." He had a humorless smile on his face and, for some reason, his words made me feel very naive.

I shook my head. "I don't doubt it. But God loves us and will forgive us no matter what. And I can't judge someone's actions when I don't know what those actions were." He had disbelief written all over his face and I became silent. I didn't want to be one of those Christians who forced their beliefs on others. I would witness through my actions, God would open his eyes and his heart in His own perfect timing. I sent up a silent prayer that it would be soon.

We lapsed into silence for a moment before I caught the voices of a couple who had whirled passed us a few times. I recognized their as two of the voices from the garden and when they danced close again I asked Erik:

"So, how many parlor maids have you seduced today?" He caught on quickly and I saw him smile a little with those imps dancing in his eyes. Without missing a beat he replied with a mock guilty lilt in his voice. "Only three or four today, Lessa." I glanced at the other couples' face's as both looked on in shock. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and I must have been imagining things, but it did feel like he tightened his grip on me a little. I had never felt so content and so happy as I did in that moment, it was like pieces to a puzzle falling into place. Strangely enough, it frightened me a little. Perhaps it was because I wasn't sure how to deal with it. But nevertheless, when the dance ended so did that strange feeling. We made the formalities required and Erik escorted me from the dance floor back to my father's side. I could tell father wasn't sure whether to be glad I had put an end to the awkward situation or mad because I had made a spectacle of myself. He nodded his greeting at our approach and motioned to a rather tall man at his side that had his back toward us.

"And here is my daughter now. Lessa I would like you to meet Comte Fontaine. This is Erik Giry." And so here was my future husband. He was as tall as Erik and was the storybook innotation of the handsome, yet authorotive prince. His hair was a darker blond with light blue eyes. When he kissed my hand, his eyes never left my face.

"Good day Miss Delaine. I am _very_ glad we finally meet at last." He had a pronounced French accent that was like velvet and would have made Lenore dizzy, but instead of feeling like the princess I had a sudden fear of this man. Despite his perfect good looks there was something disturbing about him. I remembered my resolve to not let anyone know how unhappy I was, so I forced a smile.

"Good day M. Fontaine." He turned momentarily to Erik and his face did not seem so benign as it did when he addressed me. "Giry, is it not?" I noticed he did not offer a handshake to Erik and I had to swallow my indignation.

"Yes." Erik turned to look at me with a hooded expression in his eyes. "Good day Miss Delaine." It was so hard not to beg him to stay, I was afraid of this man, of the future, of my feelings, and I needed Erik. I needed to be strong as well, so instead of begging him to stay, I smiled at him. "Thank you for the dance Erik." He nodded and left silently.

I turned towards M. Fontaine and automatically said "I hope your journey to the country was not too tedious."

"Indeed it was not. In fact, it was most delightful for I had much to think on. I deduced from your fathers words that you must be pretty, but I was wrong. You are most.... beautiful." The words he was giving me sounded nice enough, but there was something in his eyes, I couldn't understand it but it made me feel vastly uncomfortable. We chatted for a few minutes more and he managed to throw in a compliment at every corner. He apologized for not asking me to dance but said that he found it something that he did not enjoy. I tried to hide my releif, but it was hard to do so. The conversation eventually turned to business which I was only able to contribute to a little of the conversation. Father did not like me knowing details about the business and I had argued many times with him about it, but he claimed it was wrong for a woman to run a business.

The rest of the evening drug by with a painful slowness. Erik left early for, though I contunially looked for him, I never saw him. It was past three before the last of the guests left and father sent a servant to show M. Fontaine to his room. Before retiring father gave me the words I had been dreading to hear.

"You'll learn to like him Lessa, I feel you got on well." I could tell he was happy and content, he had that look on his face that he always got when a large business plan went well. "I hope to announce your engagement in two weeks. That should give you sufficient time to get to know him."

At least I had fooled father, but I could not fool myself. I shook my head at his retreating back. "I don't want to _like_ the man I marry." I whispered to the empty room.

**.....................................................**

**This was by far the longest chapter I have written so far and I hope you enjoyed. Because of it being so long it's harder for me to edit mistakes so it's possible there are a bit more than usual.**

** Terra21 - I wasn't offended in the least bit! In fact, I was very delighted to hear your review.**

**Everyone's reviews mean so much to me, and I can't thank you guys enough for the encouragement! If you haven't already, feel free to check out my other story. It's a one-shot that I wrote quiet a long time ago and I would love to hear some fresh opinions on it.**

**Thanks again!**


	8. Bittersweet

**Chapter Eight:**

**Bittersweet **

The next two days I hardly saw the Comte. He said he had some business to attend to while he was here. I sourly thought how appealing this must be to him, he will get to complete multiple business propositions in a few weeks. Including becoming officially engaged to me. I had hoped my fear of him would dissipate, but it had only grown. I called myself a coward and told myself that it wasn't the man I was afraid of, but the marriage. I prayed continually about it, knowing God had my best interests at heart, yet it still seemed hard to believe.

One afternoon the Comte and I were left alone for a few moments in the drawing room. He sat beside me on the chaise, a little to close for my comfort. "I think our marriage shall be a satisfying one." He put is hand on my shoulder in a caressing way that made my stomach lurch. "Your quiet, you don't complain, don't argue. I like my women like that." I nearly choked. His _women_? I felt sick with the sudden realization that he had no intention of being faithful to his marriage. He thought I would not put up a fuss or complaints. I was just to be an object. Father entered at that moment and smiled benignly at us, no doubt he took our close proximity as a good sign.

Late that evening I decided I must talk to Father and make him see reason. I had already taken my hair down and was preparing for bed when I realized that now would be an opportune time since the Comte had retired to his room. I found Father in his study looking over papers.

"What do you need Lessa?" He didn't look up.

"I need to speak with you Father." I said quietly. He looked up and took off his glasses, looking at me as with a kind of exasperated patience as if I were a child. Perhaps he knew what I was coming to say.

"I can't marry that man."

"I see."

"No, you don't! You don't see. He is vile and repulsive, how can you not see his true character?"

"You have an overactive imagination. You see the Comte as you want him to be." He was speaking carefully, still as if he were addressing a child. I was becoming exasperated and perhaps a little hysterical.

"As I _want_ to see him? Why would I want to see my future husband in that light, pray tell Father?" He suddenly looked tired and years older.

"That is what you expected of him and you hate to be wrong more than any one I know." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "You will marry him Lessa. You'll marry him because I say you will." He picked up his papers again, the conversation was over.

I turned and fled, only stopping to grab a shawl and put on my shoes. The house that I had loved seemed to be devouring me and sucking me down into a depth of blackness and I had to leave it if only for a few moments. Snow was falling in big, soft white flakes as I made my way to the stable through the darkness. I made my way to the tack room, with all it's smells and sounds of the horses setteling for the night it would be comforting. No one was in the stable, as I had hoped they had already turned in for the night. I lit a lamp and sat by the window, watching the snow fall. I tried to draw my mind to a blank, but all I could think about was my future life and how empty and horrid it seemed and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I'd never felt so alone and helpless before.

I heard footsteps in the doorway and automatically turned around. I panicked for one fleeting moment, thinking it was the Comte. Erik was standing there with a mixture of confusion and concern in his eyes. What a picture I must have made in my evening dress with nothing but a shawl about my shoulders in the freezing temperatures. My hair was down, my face was covered in tears and I was sure my eyes were rimmed with red. I must have indeed looked as helpless as I felt..

I was ashamed of my appearance so I turned my face back towards the window.

It was quiet for a few moments before he said something.

"Do you always forget to wear something warm?" It was more of a statement than a question and it was said so softly that I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes again. Something fell about my shoulders and I looked up to see Erik placing his coat on me. It was still warm from his body heat and the guesture was so comforting I felt suddenly very sleepy.

"Now you're going to freeze." I whispered, meeting his eyes. Erik shook his head. "I've been colder." His voice sounded husky. It seemed as if there was something flowing between us, I couldn't breath and I couldn't look away. Unless I was imagining things, he was looking at me the same way, his golden eyes glowing the flickering lantern light. Erik took my face in his hands and brushed my tears away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, as if afraid to break the spell. I leaned into his hand, slightly confused.

"For what?"

"For your pain." In that moment I felt something so strange, so new to me, that it frightened me a little. It's what one would imagine one would feel like if you fell from a cliff, but it was far from a bad sensation. I covered Erik's hand with my own, begging him to understand that I felt the same way for him, that I wanted to make all his pain disappear. I longed to take his mask off and learn about the man underneath. Suddenly that watchful wariness crept back into his eyes, like a tide rolling in. He pulled his hand away and despite Erik's warm coat, I felt cold.

"You should get some rest." His voice was back to the way he normally spoke, half derision, half protectivness. Then he turned and left. I was still in a daze and I sat like that for a some time. My mind was in a whirl with a million thoughts going through it, but if you asked me what I was thinking about later, I couldn't have remembered for the world.

I wasn't sure how long it was before I returned to the house, but it occurred to me what it would look like as I left the stable. Me entering the stables in the dark of night and Erik a few minutes later. Then both of us leaving in a similar fashion. I should be grateful everyone was asleep and that no one saw me leave. Or at least I didn't think anyone saw me leave. I didn't realize until I had made it halfway to the house that I was still wearing Erik's coat. I also never realized that Erik was watching me to make sure I made it safely back to the house.

I walked back to my room in a sort of dreamy state, feeling intoxicated and delirious. I suspect it was the after affects of feeling so oppressed one moment and so exilirated the next. I sat down on the bed and pulled Erik's jacket lapel up to my nose, breathing in his scent, then laughed at my own silly antics.

Nevertheless, after I had dressed for bed I slipped Erik's coat back on before curling up in bed and falling into bittersweet dreams.

**.....................................................**

**That was a really short chapter, possibly the shortest. Somehow it seems a little ironic that it's following the longest chapter, but if I made it any longer it might have ruined the effect. Anyway, I'm posting on the fly today. I've been crazy buzy lately. As always, I hope you enjoyed and please review. **


	9. The Snow Fight

Chapter Nine: The Snow Fight

Rumors flew and the whole household soon knew of my inpending marriage. I made every excuse possible to avoid being in the company of the Comte, I had even avoided riding for fear that Father would suggest that we rode together. This morning, however, the Comte had gone out and I was left to my own devices. Despite the circumstances, I was in a rather happy mood and I wanted to go riding. Father would not allow me to ride alone when the lake was frozen over, he was afraid that I would misjudge the distance and that I would fall through the ice. So I searched him out and asked if he approved of me riding with one of the grooms.

"Of course my dear. You've been cooped up in the house too much, fresh air would do you good."

He agreed wholeheartedly, and I was a little surprised because he seemed very eager to have me out of the house. I had already had Jane lay out my riding habit and to my dismay she had lain out my white one. While it was one of the most beautiful garmets I owned, it didn't seem to fit me. It was made of white velvet that was lined heavily for warmth, it had a high neck at the back, but came to a low V in the front. It had innumerable gold buttons down the front and all the trim and lace was gold. The hat was gold silk and sported white roses. It was beautiful indeed but I seemed to look a little unusual in it and I received rather strage looks when I wore it riding. Nevertheless I put it on and gave one last dismissive glance in the mirror before heading to the barn.

The prospect of riding seemed to considerably heighten in it delightfulness when I realized that I could go riding with Erik, but I told myself I would ask Robert just to spite my insane feelings. When I arrived Erik looked rather busy, and I inwardly smiled at my foolish disappointment.

When he turned to look at me, my knees went weak and I felt lightheaded. He was obviously in a good mood, he was almost smiling with his golden eyes glowing and only a hint of that sadness in them.

"Good morning." I smiled at him, sounding a little breathless. His gaze perused me from the tip of my toes to the top of my hat. He had that look on his face that I have sometimes received from men. I didn't quite understand it but instead of making me feel uncomfortable and self conscious like it normally does, I felt all bubbly inside. He cleared his throat.

"Are you going to ride?"

I nodded. "Yes, but Father has a rule about me riding by myself in the snow. He seems to have this silly idea I'll ride right into the lake, so I can't ride alone."

Erik raised an eyebrow as if implying that it seemed like a very wise idea. I huffed in mock anger and rolled my eyes.

"Men! I'm not quite so helpless or dumb as that. Is Robert around or is he busy?"

"Neither. He is sick."

"Oh. I'll have to get Cook to send him some soup." Now it was my turn to clear my throat.

"You looked very busy, do you mind…..? I mean, I can wait until later if you are." I mentally squished the little triumphant voice in the back of head.

Erik cocked his head in that way which reminded me so much of a little boy.

"I am your paid stable hand Lessa. You don't-"

"Yes I do." I interrupted. "No one who works for me will get treated any worse than I should treat a friend."

I must have taken what Father calls my 'imperial' stance, for Erik gave me a slight bow.

"I will saddle the horses."

"I'll saddle Ange, if you'll bring out her tack, please."

He shook his head at me. "Does the Comte know what type of woman he is marrying?" A dark cloud seemed to suddenly squeeze it's way around my heart. When I was with Erik I forgot about my future with the Comte, but the sudden mention of him left me with that stabbing fear.

"Please…. Don't speak of…. of him around me." I turned and went to Ange's stall and nothing more was said about it.

Erik saddeled Diva for himself, gave me a leg up, and in a few moments we where riding towards the forest. Erik seemed to be watching me, I suppose he was trying to figure out what had caused my outburst. Because I wanted to assure him that I wasn't angry with him I made light chatter now and then. At one point a doe and her two fawns crossed our path. Both babies still had their white spots, and I watched then until they dissipeared from sight.

I wondered if one of those three graceful creatures would wind up becoming the prize of some successful hunter. I sighed and said "Not that I am against hunting. I know it's necessary for the survival of both human and animals and I enjoy venison as well as anyone, but I could never look a living, breathing, being in the eye and then take it's life. Even if I disliked it. I can't imagiane…" I let my voice trail off as I saw the look on Erik's face. He had that immovable expression, as if he could might block his feelings from the world. But his eyes couldn't lie. I told myself that he was a sensitive man and did not like to show it. It wasn't until much later I was to find out that, while he was sensitive, it had not been the reason for his current coutenance.

I wanted to cheer him up and a sudden idea struck me. I leaned forward a little and touched my heels to Ange.

"I'll race you!" I called over my shoulder. I could quite clearly picture Erik sitting there with that shocked look on his face, and I would have given anything have been able to look back and see it. I thought I was well ahead of Erik, but in moments he was beside me and the horses where running neck and neck. I urged Ange on, my heart racing as fast as her hooves as we moved up and past Erik. There was a larger clearing up ahead and I felt triumphant as I knew Ange and I where going to win. But when we where a few yards from our certain victory Erik and Diva once again surged past us to steal our win.

I reined Ange in laughing and circling her, she would gladly run another mile if I let her.

"No fair! You where supposed to let _me_ win."

My saddle felt like it could be loose so I immediately dismounted to check it. When I looked at Erik and saw his eyes sparkling I lost the ability to breathe and I wondered if I affected him like he did me.

"My apologies." He bowed at me mockingly. "I should remember to be more considerate in the future when you are losing."

I put my hands on my hips in faux indignation.

"I could have beat you if I wanted to." I raised my chin and did my best imperial stance. "Why, I _let_ you win!"

Erik smiled wryly. "Of course."

He was circling Diva in a small circumference and when he turned his back on me I reached down for a handful of snow. I balled it up and let it sail through the air. About the same time he circled around and it landed square on his chin. For a moment he had a look of utter surprise on his face. .

I covered my smile with a hand. "I wonder where that came from." I managed between giggles, looking up at they sky searchingly. Erik's eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into a devilish smile as he dismounted in slow deliberate steps.

"Oh no…."

He reached down and made a gigantic snowball.

"You better not!" I said threateningly, moving to put the horse between us. Somehow he still managed to hit his target, just barely. But when I aimed for him I had to come from behind my hiding place and before my missile even left my hand Erik had already thrown another one. It hit my hat and my precariously placed hair came tumbling down.

"Oh… you asked for it." I said, brushing snow off of me. Erik laughed at my disheavled state while preparing more snowballs. Erik _laughed_. If his smile sent shivers down my spine, his laugh made my heart go weak. I had never seen a man as handsome, and for once you couldn't even see a hint of that infinite hurt that he carried. I shook myself and managed to throw some snow. I didn't even bother making it into snow balls, I just picked up several handfuls and threw it, laughing so hard I could hardly stand when I realized Erik was making an extra large snowball. I took off running and a chase ensued while both of the horses where staring at the two of us like we had lost our minds, which was quiet possible.

My dress hampered my movment, at least that was my excuse, and in a moment Erik had tackled me and we both went tumbling into a snow bank. He rolled on top of me grinning like a chesire cat. Our breaths where making small clouds as we both stared at each other, lost in happiness and delight. Erik's gaze turned serious as he brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. I closed my eyes to block out everything but the feel of his hand on my face. It wasn't hard to do because at the moment I couldn't think about anything but him. I couldn't think about my future husband, what my Father would say, or that the horses could be wandering away. Maybe he was some sort of magician because I didn't even want to try to think about anything but him.

The wise little voice in the back of my head reminded me of my Christian beliefs and I knew I mustn't let things go to far. But something unexplainable was happening to me, I trusted Erik with my whole being and I knew that he would honor my beliefs.

He brushed my lips with his thumb and I sighed his name, almost afraid to make a sound in case I would break this wonderful spell. I reached up and traced his jaw line with my hand. He caught my hand in his own and turned his head a little to kiss my palm. It was such a tender gesture it made tears prick the back of my eyes. Someone had hurt him once, I knew. I didn't understand how anyone could cause him such pain and my heart ached for him. It was like I was feeling his own pain and it hurt more than anything I had ever felt. Something special was flowing between us, I could read his thoughts as if they were my own, as I knew he could mine.

Like a bolt of lightning striking my heart, the relization came that he could never be mine. It felt as though a searing knife was twisting it's way into my stomach. He must have seen the thoughts in my eyes, he sat up with something like reproach and anger in his eyes. I knew it wasn't for me, but it still confused me. Suddenly I felt so afraid and alone.

A voice whispered to me _I am here_, _I will never leave you nor forsake you_. _Everything happens for a reason._ I felt comforted, but the pain was still there.

"We should go back." Erik's voice sounded husky and dejected.

The ride back was a silent one, we both avoided looking at each other. A sort of gloominess had pervaded the air and I silently wondered if my whole life would be made up of moments of ecstasy until a perverse force ripped them away and turned them into irreversable and nearly unbearable pain.

Perpetual happines is not here to stay and those moments of ecstasy must be remembered with joy and not bitterness, for bitterness and discontentedness can bring the best and most satisfied lifes to ruin.

I was to learn this lesson much later, but too late to stop much of the pain that was unknowingly to come raining down in torrents.

**...............**

**A few chapters back Lessa was singing a lullaby, I meant to post the whole thing, but I hadn't an oppertunity until now. You'll find it below. A few weeks back I watched a movie I would reccomend to anyone: North and South. It's not the North and South movie based on the civil war, but it's based on the North and South regions of England. It's a four hour movie without much action, but you wont be able to tear yourself away from it. I suppose the reason I'm mentioning it is because while I was writing this chapter, one of my favorite lines from the movie kept coming back to me: **

**"I beleive I've seen Hell, and it's white. It's snow white."**

**I am very proud of all my reviews, please keep 'em coming.**

**...............**

_The wind whispers across the plain_

_Through the rippling seas of green_

_The gossamer green, a sight to be seen_

_Like the pied piper with his enchanters flute_

_It beckons with it_

_Calling, calling_

_'__s musical strain. _

_Not calling in vain_

_Whispering, begging, calling my name._

_It caresses the lethargic trees, _

_Until with a sigh they let loose their leaves_

_Then it begs them for a dance_

_Whispering and laughing and sighing romance _

_Like the leaves it calls me to twirl_

_It whispers, it laughs, it begs me for more_

_Calling, calling_

_Not calling in vain_

_Whispering, begging, calling my name._

_Like a child it plays on the stones of the creek_

_Diving in and out, playing hide and go seek_

_Coaxing the water to hum in it's way _

_It plays my heart like a pianoforte _

_And from my own lips it lures me to sing_

_Calling, calling_

_Not calling in vain_

_Whispering, begging, calling my name._

_Like the pied piper with his enchanters flute_

_It beckons with it_

_Calling, calling_

_'__s musical strain. _

_Not calling in vain_

_Whispering, begging, calling my name_


End file.
